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Quality and quantity; two sides of the same coin

Posted by Darth Robbo , in Musings 27 April 2011 · 578 views

Poll: What matters to you most in videogames? (6 member(s) have cast votes)

What is most important in a videogame?

  1. Quality of content (5 votes [84%])

    Percentage of vote: 84%

  2. Quantity of content (0 votes [0%])

    Percentage of vote: 0%

  3. Agreeing with Robbo so he doesn't hurt me in my special place (1 votes [17%])

    Percentage of vote: 17%

Vote Guests cannot vote
Where do I even start here?

Firstly, I'll just jump into the role of GRAND OVERLORD OF HUMANITY and say that these days, gamers are stupid, pretentious dicks.

That's right, reader! You are an overweight, probably uneducated beardneck who knows as much about interactive electronic media as you do quantum mechanics. But never mind, I don't expect much from my borderline-comatose audience other than a resounding 'oooffff cooouuurrrse'. Just don't nom on my brains.

I suppose I'll have to talk about something else apart from your general lack of sophistication. The main topic I am going to address is the balance between quality and quantity. In my mind (and everyone else's, so help me), the title that has held the crown for perfect balance for 18 years is Super Metroid. Every section of the world is crafted with a meticulous detail usually reserved for fine musical instruments. This is a game you can spend 10 hours with or, if you are some kind of god, less than an hour. The music adds to the atmosphere of the game, whether you are navigating the abandoned ruins of a technologically-advanced civilization, or the bowels of a mechanical life-vein hellbent on your destruction. Secrets exist that are not only programmed into the game, but only accessible if you break the flow of the game design. No matter the amount of time you spend on this masterpiece, each moment is attuned to the highest degree of enjoyment.

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Pictured: GREATNESS.



Now who is to say that Player A, clocking in at 10 hours, got more out of the game than Player B, who beat it in 3 hours? Well, I suppose anyone can, but they would have a stupid uneducated opinion which is plain wrong. I forget where I am going with this because I am whack with poobrain. Regardless, stop telling people what they can and can't like. It doesn't matter how long a game is; the experience, and the quality of that experience, transcends your limited understanding of the phenomenon known as time.

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Me, on discovering the internet: home of stupid uneducated opinions (SUOs)


I bring all this up because I don't like how people lately are criticizing Portal 2 for its short length. Hey, moron; stop being such a stingy prick who can't part with his grimy little dollar coins. Portal 2 is a rich blend of narrative, enriching gameplay and dazzling setpieces, which together form one of the most memorable experiences in video games I have ever known. I'm not saying its perfect; few games are. I have obviously noted the 4-6 hour length as a major detractor however, none of that is filler. You move from action scene, to funny dialogue, to perplexing puzzle at the perfect pace. After single player, you can always try co-op, but it's unlikely that these whimpering scuttlebutts have any acquaintances who would enjoy subjecting themselves to an entire campaign partnered with an incompetent dingleberry.

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Your average cynic. Knows the least, the loudest.


I have two pieces of advice for you, smelly person: a) it's not cool/intelligent/indie to disagree with the majority when it makes you look like a moron, and; b) stop being such a tight-arsed 'gamer' and actually sit down and appreciate the meal in front of you. Some poor sod and his development team slaved away on some game to please fans like you, and you repay them by vilifying the end product with such boring critique as this?

Portal 2 is the most overrated game of the year, and i wouldn't even mind saying the decade. It's story isn't clever, or philosophical, or transcendent, or even well written in most parts, it's just a quick make-shift story setting to try and create a plot with some relevance. The game play is EXACTLY like the first, with little to no improvements.

Quote: beardneck of the century


There is a a fine line between having a genuine opinion and being flat-out wrong. Learn the difference.

Robbo out.

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quality for life.

same sh!t with gameplay > graphics.

New gamers these days are or really with anything else, majority of them just don't appreciate the finer details as to why they like playing or doing X thing in the first place.

oh and is that obs?
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PlasmaDavid
Apr 27 2011 07:11 AM
ITB: Trolls. Hundreds of them.
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Darth Robbo
Apr 27 2011 11:00 AM

oh and is that obs?


Haha no, it's the guy in the meme known as 'butthurt dweller'. Just thought it was funny. :P
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Wow, I really wasn't expecting you to pull a Maddox-style alternate personality on us Ben. Who are you and what have you done with the real you?
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Darth Robbo
Apr 27 2011 02:02 PM
Perhaps I'm feeling disillusioned with stupid people after spending the Easter break working at a busy supermarket. :P

Hooray for super-cynical Ben!
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indevelopment
Apr 27 2011 04:42 PM
Ahh nothing makes one lose their sense of humanity quite like, well, dealing with humanity.
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PlasmaDavid
Apr 27 2011 08:41 PM
Hahahah ENKC, I was thinkingl a less eloquent Yahtzee, but yes Maddox is a fitting comparison as well.
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Darth Robbo
Apr 27 2011 10:57 PM

Hahahah ENKC, I was thinkingl a less eloquent Yahtzee, but yes Maddox is a fitting comparison as well.


I wasn't really aiming to imitate any particular critic (in fact, this more an amalgam of my opinions and a wide array of sources, subliminally influencing my writing style). However, I am finding it rather enriching to read this in Croshaw's voice. :P
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Needs moar Trilby.
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